dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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