Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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