yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
