So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's paint friendship bongs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
