i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
