smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
