just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
