Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
