hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
