dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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