break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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