Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no you cant smoke seaweed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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