Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
