i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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