he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
