apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
