he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
