I'm really into asian looking animals
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
