Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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