hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
