Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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