no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
