Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
