We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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