After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
