I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
