I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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