I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
