i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
