She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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