Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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