Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
