Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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