I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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