i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
