if i died would you start the facebook group?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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