I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
