i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
