So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
