Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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