I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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