How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
