Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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