Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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