Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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