I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
