I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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