What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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