So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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