He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
They have beer where we have blood.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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